Religions of the World
(This is a variation on a Judeo-Christian joke of the same name.)

Capitalism
He who dies with the most toys, wins.

Hari Krishna
He who plays with the most toys, wins.

Roman Catholicism
He who denies himself the most toys, wins.

Anglican
They were our toys first.

Greek Orthodox
No, they were OURS first.

Branch Davidians
He who dies playing with the biggest toys, wins.

Atheism
There is no toy maker.

Polytheism
There are many toy makers.

Christian Science
We are the toys.

Communism
Everyone gets the same number of toys,
and you are in big trouble if we catch you selling yours.

Bahai
All toys are just fine with us.

Amish
Toys with batteries are sinful.

Evolutionism
All toys came from one small toy.

Creationism
Toys didn't come from anywhere, they just came.

Taoism
The doll is as important as the dumptruck.

Mormonism
Every boy can have as many toys as he wants.

Baptist
Every toy can do its own thing.

Voodoo
Let me borrow that doll for a second.

Hedonism
To heck with the rule book, let's play!

Hinduism
He who plays with bags of plastic farm animals, loses.

7th Day Adventist
He who plays with his toys on Saturday, loses.

Southern Baptist
If your toy is a Disney product,
don't let anybody know you have it.

Church of Christ
He whose toys make music, loses.

Jehovah's Witnesses
He who sells the most toys door-to-door, wins.

Inerrantism
You said my toy has a scratch on it.
That's not a scratch, it just looks like a scratch.
Let me tell you why it can't be a scratch ...

Pentecostalism
He whose toys can talk, wins.

Methodism
The only thing that really counts is HOW you play with the toys.

Existentialism
Toys are a figment of your imagination.

Confucianism
When a toy is dipped in the water, it is no longer dry.

Non-denominationalism
We don't care where the toys came from, let's just play with them.

Agnosticism
It is not possible to know whether toys make a bit of difference.

Zen Buddhism
Only think about toys and find truth in the space between.

Reality
He who dies with the most toys is still dead.


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